Something you don’t see every day, or every — ever

“_______________ is an artist affiliated with M.I.T.

I’ve just decided that anything having to do with M.I.T. is suspect out of the gate, and that it simply makes me feel better to be openly hostile and ridiculously unreasonable about a place that I still also totally love. Because most of the faculty, alumni, and students – at least the physicists – are beautiful in every way.

Albert Einstein – this guy –

is completely unique. But also amazingly representative of the sweet, silly, brilliance that runs through every theoretical physicists’ DNA.

And you can know this by looking at the empirical evidence. When physicists discover a whole galaxy living inside the supposedly smallest single unit of nature, everything in this new galaxy has to be called something. Like discovering the planets in the Milky Way galaxy, except that there is no such thing as a “planet” yet, so you are starting from scratch. No one knows what the hell you’re talking about. You need a whole new vocabulary.

Let us reverse engineer the spin* of Shakespeare’s question: “what’s in a name?”

Science, in general, names things in the most orderly and most awful way. Phylum, Genus, Species…

It’s awfulness.

Physicists, on the other hand, are weird.

BOOM! Suddenly a whole new unexplored world opens up. And in order to be able to even communicate in any way at all, obviously, things must have some sort of label. If I say, “Mars is a planet” you have to know what, at least in the broadest sense, a “planet” is.

And so everybody dropped acid and named shit.

No, they didn’t even need to drop acid. They are on a permanent LSD voyage. (Yes, I am jealous.)

I don’t know who or why “Quark” happened, and I don’t want to know. I don’t want my imagination limited by facts on this one.

But somehow, acid or shrooms or whatever the hell, “Quark” is where they start. Element >> Atom >> Quark.

Which is a pretty weird name. Maybe. I mean, it’s a new thing. It has to be a new word. Maybe they thought it sounded scholarly and serious.

Except they don’t leave room for ambiguity. They leave no room for interpretation once they start identifying the different types of Quarks.

Up Quark.

Down Quark.

(Pretty normal. So far. Continue…)

Charm Quark. ??

STRANGE QUARK.

Anyway, I still love the Lepton Lovers, but M.I.T. has mutated into a parasitic organism, the dark heart of the most ruthless, merciless war machine the world has ever known. And if humans become extinct, or if, at the very least, the rest of the world decides that it’s time that Americans become extinct, any breadcrumbs salvageable from the rubble will inevitably lead back to that prestigious place.

That prestigious palace of higher learning where the phrase: “____________ is an artist affiliated with M.I.T.” sounds sinister. Where there seems to be no other reasonable interpretation than the twisted, scary, sinister interpretation.

In CERN we trust.

*bad physics pun

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