The System

Here’s some audio from my first recert. The first voice you’ll hear is Jennie Nai’s. I stuck it up top for now it’s easy for you to access. It may not make a lot of sense to you and I’m nervous and inarticulate but it definitely shows a small hint of some of the issues I’ve been dealing with since the very beginning. The trove of e-mails alone is honestly daunting in its immensity.

Either way, if we’re going to talk about my fate concerning my issues with your company, it seems like we aught to have someone there who was right in the middle of every one of them. Anyway, there’s the recording follows the parenthetical.

(I use this page as sort of a weigh station of records not quite curated and posted into usable narrative form yet. I use this this space to help me as I’m collating.)


“At the least I could be told how to non-answer those questions by a brief call, email or text from anyone at MHA.

Sent: Monday, May 04, 2015 12:19PM

To: KB, [MHA Program Director]

May 4, 2015
“I spoke, at some length, to an apartment manager, Linda C___, last week, about an apartment in Holyoke that seems promising, and whose contact info is attached

“Either way, I haven’t heard from anyone at MHA or otherwise”

“or at the least I could be told how to non-answer those questions by a brief call, email or text from anyone at MHA.

MHA: reality has nothing to do with it

Begging, please, for any response”

Sent: Wednesday, May 13, 2015

To: KB, [MHA Program Director]

Subject: Still so NOT Serene“Begging, please, for any response”

“It took me over a month- a MONTH – to find this place

“I mean, when, on the first meeting and showing of the place, she has to stay late because the prospective tenant is still in her office like a kid at school whose parents forgot to pick her up, it can’t exactly inspire confidence.”

“But tomorrow it will be a week since I saw the place. A week since I was dropped off at her doorstep late, alone, and clueless”

“And I have no idea what in the world is going on. Help!”

“Begging, please, for any response

“Please respond promptly, as my life depends on it.”

Sent: 5/14/2015 12:22

To: [MHA Program Director] KB

Subject: RE: Still so NOT Serene

May 14, 2015

“Yesterday you still didn’t address the issue of the application at all, although when we met Tuesday with CHD you told us/me it would be turned in that day, or at the latest, the next: Wednesday.”

“why do you not use the time slated to take me to therapy to take me, and the application, to the apartment?”

“This is one time where your word matters.”

Drivers License

“IAP” supposedly from 5/6/2015—8/6/2015

“Staff will guide Serene through the steps of having her license renewed as it has expired). [sic] Staff will coach Serene through the process of coordinating with the Registry of Motor Vehicles, changing her address when she moves and assisting any challenges that may come up surrounding reinstating her license”


After months of raising this issue, which all my providers and everyone at CHD Holyoke knew about, because a weird guy took my wallet from there and then held it hostage, calling my team at CHD, then calling me, until finally agreeing to meet my Outreach Worker and myself outside McDonalds, by which time the license had expired.

It was an incredibly strange experience and one we¹ brought up in our very first meeting – (I do have my original notes from all the meetings) – each time receiving affirmative assurances on multiple dates that it would not be a problem.¹Luz M______, Mt. TomThen, once it so obviously was a problem, MHA butchered the documentation in multiple ways; from misspelling my last name to putting the new address on some documents and my current address on others. Then I was dropped off, with this wrong paperwork, every weekday morning between June 5—June 9, and left there all day. Finally, on June 10 I said I would not go in alone again, and the “housing specialist” came in with me and was able to convince them to give me the I.D.

Sent: June 05, 2015 11:43AM

To: KB, [MHA Program Director]

Subject: RE: Therapy+Everything

“No. As I tried to explain to her, that’s irrelevant , because the license expired in February. I know, from my notes of the introductory meetings with you and Clara, that this was a concern of mine that I brought up, as well as with Michelle [MHA “Housing Specialist”] after I saw the apartment and the electricity issue came up.”

“If you’ve got anything at all, please just fax it”

Systemic Financial Negligence

Voicemail DMH Heather Xxxxxx

01-24-19 1120h



Full name, job title, contact information, including email. Who is her direct supervisor?

Some background links, writing and other assorted information tied to contemporaneous circumstances. Most begins after June 2016, where I used a cubbyhole at Google+ to write openly because despite being technically public there was almost no chance anyone would bump into it. As of today, January 29, 2019, with Google+ set to shutter its proverbial doors in a matter of weeks, that statement carries a heavy dose of inescapable irony not intended, but still unavoidable.

I write all the time on paper, in journal after journal, but I was aware that the Google+ journaling, ranting, and just working things through in my own mind provided a space that carried with it something approaching an irrebuttable presumption – actually, that’s the wrong usage – but certainly a presumptively credible, reliable, and acceptable evidentiary proof of the time and date it was written, which might at some point matter. What survives is a crossbreed of anonymous online rant and a continuation of the purposeful, deliberate, documentation, which by this time had become dense as well as damning, mostly in the form of emails from them. In the trove of emails they either damn themselves directly or someone with good faith trying to act responsibly as intercessor damns them, and in those cases it’s almost worse, because the observations of a well-intentioned third party in a position to witness ongoing interactions in many areas where I have no visibility, especially one whose financial and collegial loyalties tend toward the protection of her employers, is often accidentally some of the most telling peeks behind the curtain.

And here is where I hid in plain sight. At least at first. The fact that I’ve been filling up journals since I was 7 years old is helpful – very helpful – but journals don’t have time stamps and with this crew sometimes a little extra insurance seems wise.

YOU LIE (CC-Banksy)

This is what the top post says. It’s messy and not well written, but it is contemporaneous. A Google timestamp is a pretty reliable thing.








On June 10th, we sat in that room, my voice recorder between us, recording light on, as I pulled out proof after proof after proof of not only this systematic abuse, but also systemic gross incompetency on a grand scale.

Dates, times, emails, texts, phone records, my real medical records, your forged medical records, photographs, receipts, and a recorded interview with one of your ex and current employees, as well as my actual landlord neutrally and honestly answering just a few questions.

████████████ I said what I cared about was your other victims. I said that I was now standing up because I have spent the last year terrorized by you, ████████████████████████

I just wanted to fix it. You scare me. Truly.

I was left on that stairwell with a cruel joke at my partial paralysis suffered at the hands of domestic violence, a threat from you, and the start of my mission just over a year ago.

And I have used that year. I have used that year meeting those victims, researching law, reading financial statements, training material, and just listening to people.

Names, dates, times, texts, phone records, pictures, medical records, Social Security records, recorded interviews…

#MHA #CBFS #Massachusetts


(Off the top, answer to 1st question: WRONG! Outright lie. No hesitancy in the answer, and followed up by a double down; “I know we have a lease on file.” NO.)

No, you don’t have a key, and I didn’t understand the “did something happen?” question. Yes, you guys coming into my place when I’m gone, and all the falsified IAP’s, stealing the Walmart money, leaving me here with nothing, making fun of me for a paralyzation that led to me being in this situation, “evicting me” then saying you didn’t, and threatening me: “nothing happened” meaning I didn’t do anything to cause you guys to break into my place. That was where I still was in my mind. I was terrified

I love the internet.

What better proof is there than freaking Google for a time stamp?

That’s funny, I know. Clowns and bullies don’t need records!

You make Universal Health look honest.
(I am on record saying last June that I did NOT want this to go this way, but instead wanted to FIX it. I am on the record, in the recert, in the room with JN — and J-CHD —— and B. —  saying that the last thing I wanted was a lawsuit.)

So you went after me.

Good job.

I still had lots of goodwill and just wanted to be a part of making things better. I, above, a year ago, stated that I didn’t believe anyone in that room had “bad faith,” but you have finally disabused me of that notion. I have lost all pity or concern for you.

I have lived in many different states, and I can tell you that one constant, the one thing that a redneck, NRA member from Texas and an ACLU attorney in Massachusetts will always agree on is when the agency that is supposed to be protecting children turns out to not to be.

We are not children, and you are not just not helping us. CBFS has shaken out enough for the outlines of the problems and the possible solutions be very ripe. 

There are very good people at MHA. But I hear the same thing over and over again: “the good ones never last there.”

Do you realize how the rest of the mental health community sees you? I wonder, now, if I should have taken up the offer to just change to a different sub-contractor. I felt like if I left, had some separation, that it would be too easy to forget all the others who can’t escape. Because that was always what it was about, just like I’ve said all along. My tune doesn’t change.

That was probably pretty dumb. I’m meeting with that person again this week, anyway.

And the fact that there’s a stack of other eviction notices with you as plaintiff, and seeing the sausage made with Ms. Lookatmelookatmelookatme as bad cop would definitely have escaped my notice. You do still have the ability to surprise me.

Seeing the housing court process “in action” just gives me a ton of new concerns.

I cannot look at this all alone. It’s way too much.