The journals

The real ones. The backwards ones.
I buried them.
All over.
That’s the secret.
From Yellow Gap Trail in Pisgah National Forest to Abiquiu, New Mexico, I buried my notebooks.

A sense of aloneness

And for a little while I held onto my weird bond with the dead artist. But – (shockingly) – it turns out leaning on Leonardo DaVinci for reassurance of how totally and completely not-weird I was, was a terrifically bad strategy. And before long the instinctive childlike kinship I initially felt with Leonardo was a source of confusion and something almost approaching self-scolding in and of itself.
 Because only DaVinci is DaVinci.

The Call

Ethan ♥ [Tear Down the Wall] –let your memories grow stronger and stronger, till they’re before your eyes– August 29, 2008: “I know you’ll always love me no matter what. It’s not the same with him.”

tear down the wall

It’s amazingly catchy, once it starts and there’s nothing to interrupt it. One short, simple loop. One short, simple question.