This reads like a blog post. Quickly written, social media rules. Thanks for understanding.

This is about the letters between Mary and Fanny in Mansfield Park, but you must indulge me in a little naming convention talk first. I will get it in every chance I have because it is so important. Especially with Jane Austen’s way of writing, of not hitting you over the head with things, with her exquisite brushwork, she is going to use that most-engrained of all social markers to it’s fullest.

The conventions matter most to the plot in Emma. Without a fairly nuanced understanding of the rules of address easily half of what is going on in Emma is just erased from the plot, but in Mansfield Park it’s also easy to miss some of Austen’s fine, detailed brush work if you don’t give those conventions their full weight. (I forget half the time myself. I’m catching more now without much conscious thought, but most of it still flies by me.) Of course when Henry calls Fanny, “Fanny” and she draws back in displeasure that’s about Crawford using her first name, but in the notes between Mary and Fanny—(carried by Henry Crawford)—giving appropriate weight to the names they’re using turns Fanny’s reply into the sharp-edged little weapon it is.

Mary is all, “I’m so glad we’re going to be sisters!” and Fanny writes back, “Thank you for the honour of your note. Here is an icicle.’

Names really matter in Jane Austen. I am going to keep saying that.

Like when Captain Wentworth says, “no one so proper, so capable as Anne”, that’s everything. It’s not “important,” it is EVERYTHING.

Watch what Captain Wentworth calls everyone else. Watch the intimacy-level markers. He just jumped from third to first level with Anne. Twice. “Musgrove” is friend level, and in a group of friends this is completely normal between guys, but that’s still not intimate, intimate. No woman could call Darcy “Darcy,” but Bingley can. Not at a ball or a dinner party, but around friends. But there is literally no set of circumstances where a man calls a woman they are not closely related to by her first name, especially in public. Maybe her husband in this situation would. But the rest is all “Mrs. Harville” and “Mrs. Charles Musgrove” and then “Anne” just falls like a bomb. Like a beautiful, quiet bomb. “Anne.”

“Then it is settled, Musgrove,” cried Captain Wentworth, “that you stay, and that I take care of your sister home. But as to the rest, as to the others, if one stays to assist Mrs Harville, I think it need be only one. Mrs Charles Musgrove will, of course, wish to get back to her children; but if Anne will stay, no one so proper, so capable as Anne.”

Jane Austen, Persuasion ❦ Chapter 12

But back to Fanny and Mary. Or should I say Fanny and Miss Crawford?

So sisters get special privileges. When it comes to names, only family can call each other by first names to others. Elizabeth can say “Jane is upstairs” to the neighbors if she wants to and so can Mrs. Bennet, but it’s just immediate family. That’s inner circle stuff, and this obviously takes on a lot of social importance. Implicit in Mary’s emphasis on “Fanny” is the relevance of special privilege. Notice how Lydia and Mrs. Forster (Pride and Prejudice) have become intimates—call each other by their first names—but Lydia still refers to Mrs. Forster as Mrs. Forster to everyone else, despite calling her “My Dear Harriet” in her elopement goodbye. But also, Fanny doesn’t want to be Mary’s sister in any way, and they both get that half of Mary’s “Hey sister” is about Mary and Edmund, and Fanny doesn’t want any part of that. “Sister? I know exactly what you’re thinking. Get back in your ‘Miss Crawford’ box and stay there.” But there was a third position: friend. Maybe not best friend, but there’s definitely room for friendlier.

And so Mary’s note is full of ‘I’m so thrilled you’re going to be my sister’ joy. “My dear Fanny,—for so I may now always call you…” Congratulations, new sister!!

“My dear Fanny,—for so I may now always call you, to the infinite relief of a tongue that has been stumbling at Miss Price for at least the last six weeks—I cannot let my brother go without sending you a few lines of general congratulation, and giving my most joyful consent and approval. Go on, my dear Fanny, and without fear; there can be no difficulties worth naming. I chuse to suppose that the assurance of my consent will be something; so you may smile upon him with your sweetest smiles this afternoon, and send him back to me even happier than he goes.—Yours affectionately, M. C.”

Jane Austen, Mansfield Park ❦ Chapter 31

But Fanny is not having it. That’s one thing I always hold against her a little. Had she shown even half the generosity of spirit toward Mary as she showed toward Susan, who knows what might have happened? Oh, I guess that would kind of ruin the story, huh? (I’m kidding. I mean, not about it ruining the story, of course it would, but I didn’t just now figure that out.) Still, knowing it would ruin the story doesn’t stop me from judging Fanny for it. Fanny, you’re too up tight and it’s a little ridiculous. And girl, you are rough on poor Mary here. What did she ever do to you? Yes, she “left Fanny to her fate.” I’m not exactly Team Mary, but it’s hard to be Team Fanny sometimes, too. You don’t have to be her sister, but you could have tried to be more of a friend.

Actually, no, I’m still Team Fanny. It’s weird, even the stuff I hold against her I don’t really hold against her. She’s too downtrodden not to love.

Her note back to Mary has a sweet, bewildered tone to it, but there are knives in every “Miss.” Mary went straight into Sister Zone and Fanny’s counteroffer didn’t even concede the Friend Zone. And if Fanny can deliver this kind of blow without ever thinking an unkind thought I guess that, in itself, is a skill.

“I am very much obliged to you, my dear Miss Crawford, for your kind congratulations, as far as they relate to my dearest William. The rest of your note I know means nothing; but I am so unequal to anything of the sort, that I hope you will excuse my begging you to take no farther notice. I have seen too much of Mr. Crawford not to understand his manners; if he understood me as well, he would, I dare say, behave differently. I do not know what I write, but it would be a great favour of you never to mention the subject again. With thanks for the honour of your note, I remain, dear Miss Crawford, etc., etc.”

Jane Austen, Mansfield Park ❦ Chapter 31

“Sister? Bitch, I ain’t even your friend.”

Coined by Jane Austen?