In which Nick realizes a beautiful, “perfect” regular girl will now never cut it, because his murderous wife has, yes, spoiled him.*

“I’d already pictured myself with a regular woman – a sweet, normal girl next door – and I’d already pictured telling this regular woman the story of Amy, the lengths she had gone to – to punish me and to return to me. I already pictured this sweet and mediocre girl saying something uninteresting like Oh, nooooo, oh my God, and I already knew part of me would be looking at her and thinking: You’ve never murdered for me. You’ve never framed me. You wouldn’t even know how to begin to do what Amy did. You could never possibly care that much. The indulged mama’s boy in me wouldn’t be able to find peace with this normal woman, and pretty soon she wouldn’t just be normal, she’d be substandard, and then my father’s voice – dumb bitch – would rise up and take it from there.”

*Batmish, don’t get any ideas

**The audio is from the audiobook which is, in fact, far better than the movie because it’s from the, you know, book, which is almost a whole other world than the movie. But somehow the audiobook here is better than both the book and movie combined. A better audiobook has never been made. There’s great movies and there’s great books, but this may truly be the first great audio-fucking-book.

Just saying.